100 miles.

I did it! I logged 100 miles from October 3rd to January 11th. I set this goal thinking that no matter how long it took me I was going to get it done and check off all those little gray circles. :) I'm proud of myself. From the time I started walking/jogging/running, whatever you want to call it I've shaved 5 and a half minutes off my mile. What use to take me 40 minutes to start and complete takes me 32 minutes now. I'm stoked about my progress and I'm going to happily go another round to reach 200 miles. Guess I need to find another sheet of gray circles to check off.

Games, Family, and Death.

January 2, 2009 my Uncle Ted passed away from brain cancer. It was a horrible battle and shook all of us. It was right on the heels of my grandmother passing away the year before from cancer as well. It was sad, it was inevitable and in a way it was a relief to us all. So this year on the second, the first year anniversary of my uncle's passing, we all got together for games and food. Uncle Ted wasn't much for playing the kind of games we played but he loved having everyone together and the buzz of people talking and eating around him.

Everyone wanted to play a new game this year. Have you heard of this game called Bang! It's complicated and with two young kids to feed and keep up with I wasn't inclined to play. So I did what I do best, clean, serve and snap pictures.

The lady in the sheriff's hat is Erin (my round about cousin) and though the hat DOES NOT come with the game she picked it up for this game so that whomever is Sheriff gets the honor of wearing a fashion forward hat. Next to her is of course Isaac, he didn't play but was happy to watch and play his Leapster at the same time. My mom is next to him and though she looks like me, that's my sister in the green shirt and goofy smile. (Mom of course is yucking it up...what she does best I'm afraid)

Evan Grace spent her time running back and forth for a cookie or soda (a treat in this household) After awhile she and I went upstairs and played a few rounds of Guitar Hero....man I rock that game.

This is what the men of the family do when we get together. Sit around, drink (all except for my dad that is) and talk hunting and fishing stories. My dad is on the far left of the screen in the Carhartt hat. The other men in the photo are my aunts father and 2 brothers. Good guys, super guys. Got along with my uncle very well and have really stepped in to help out with Connor, my cousin, Ted's only child.

My cousin Connor in the orange shirt, my Uncle Ted's only son. He's a few months older than Mackenzie and has an amazing sense of dry humor. Just like his dad. Don't you love the pose for this picture. Beside him is Grant, Connor's best friend as well as his cousin and mine.

Mackenzie, way to cool to get involved in anything spent her time with me posing for pictures. I can always count on her for a good photo. Here she's actually sporting a new ring she got for Christmas, it's like the only ring she's ever really truly liked wearing. It is pretty cool.

All in all, the night was fun for most. I felt extremely uncomfortable, everything felt off, forced, like everyone was dancing around the elephant in the room. I wanted to stand up on the table and scream at one point, "Can't we just say his name, can't we just say I miss him and if he were here right now he's be lighting up a cigarette and making some snarky remark that would make us all laugh!" It was frustrating to say the least. My family hasn't been faced with a lot of dear ones deaths as other families might be. Aside from my grandfather passing when my mother was younger, my grandmother and uncle are the only ones to pass from a family of six. Maybe no one knows what to do, maybe everyone was afraid if they said his name that someone would lose it and start crying and the entire night would be beyond repair. Maybe that were just afraid that if they said his name that it would make it all real. Whatever the reason, I couldn't take much of it, so I packed the two little kids up and headed home, enjoying the sense of being able to shrug off the oppression of people silently grieving.

I don't want to be like my family in the 'keep it quiet' when someone passes. I refuse to keep to myself what everyone should be saying to each other. So, deep breath in, here it goes.

I miss you Uncle Ted, though I didn't know you well and didn't get the chance to spend much time with you I miss you. I enjoyed hanging out with you when you came to visit, I loved the witty jokes you cracked, the pranks you would pull on the family. I loved your dry sense of humor. I hate that you had to face something as horrible as cancer, I hate that towards the end you were in such pain it was hard to breath. I hate that you left behind a caring wife and amazing son. I hate, hate, hate not knowing that I may never see you again. I miss you, you like everyone else had issues and problems and struggles, but you were a good uncle and had so much to offer this family. We miss you, we grieve for you and want you back everyday.

 My uncle is on the top left of this picture. Taken shorly after he got sick. The rest of the people in the picture are his brothers and sister, minus one sister that never makes it home.

Wordless Wednesday.

To Die For!

I made up a batch of peanut butter cookies. Not from scratch, from a pouch.



Then I melted half a bag of chocolate morsels, with some vanilla, peanut butter, and a little butter.
I dumped the peanut butter cookies in a bowl, and poured on the chocolate.



Then I gently stirred the cookies until they were covered in chocolate.

Then, working with only a few cookies at a time, I dropped them into a Ziploc bag with
powdered sugar and rolled, then shook, then rolled and shook them some more.

Then I pulled them free of the powdered sugar bag and placed them on cooling racks
to set completely. These cookies are...to...die...for. No kidding. So very delicious.
Not my own recipe, but one that is going to be used a lot and frequently.

Sea Breeze.

My wonderful mailman, Chris, brought me a long awaited package a few days ago.

I was in a mad rush to open it, but not before I whipped out my camera of course.

It's hand dyed fabric, is a Sea Breeze blue especially for making a 1 set of bra and panties. I'm soooo excited. Umm when I took the picture I didn't think that the under wire would be so prominent....ummmm yes I'm busty, so the wire looks big but the wires have a big job ahead of them. :) I can't wait to get my hands on this and post pictures of the finished product.

(Don't worry, I will not model them!)

Dreaming of Hair.

My husband and I met online, no, not at a dating site or chat room. A writing forum type thing. I had just been made staff and shortly after blasting one of his written pieces, he was staff, and then he was emailing me asking what my problem with his piece was. :) 

One of the first things I bought him for his birthday when we were offically together, was a book of poetry, Rose, by one of my favorite authors,  Li Young Lee. There's a poem in the book about hair. I'm not sure why he and I were talking about hair at the time, but we spent a lot of time on the phone talking about anything that popped into our mind. One topic happened to be hair, and in particular, my husband was talking about an old fling of his that apparently had hair like a goddess. "No one I have ever met has had hair like this girl did."

 I got the opportunity to meet Amazing Hair Woman a year or so ago, (and after truly hurting her and lashing out at her because of my own insanity,...that's another story, one where I'm actually the bad girl and should be quartered and shot for my behavior), everything my husband told me about her hair...well it was all true. Her hair is amazing. Curly, full, thick, an entity all it's own, a controlled chaos of silken beauty. Seriously, it was that astounding.  I don't know of any one woman, especially those that have curly hair and like their curly hair, that wouldn't want to have her hair as their own.

Before I met Amazing Hair Woman I was on a mission to not only go green where the family and I could, but to try and accept the fact that as much as I hated it, I had curly hair and needed to get a handle on it, embrace it, cultivate it even. :) So I researched hair and the many different ways one can control it. 

The first thing I did was I stopped combing/brushing my hair. It's been 18 months since a comb has touched my hair. It did wonders for my curls. It's stronger, fuller and I can go longer between hair cuts if I so choose. 

Then I happened upon the 'No Poo' method of washing your hair.  The main ingredients: Baking Soda, Vinegar and Water.

 Washing your hair is not only horrible for your hair but the chemicals in shampoo and conditioners are just as bad. Sure you may wash it everday but that's way to much. You're pulling the natural oil out of your hair so your scalp starts producing more oil to make up for it, which means you have to wash your hair more often than not. You're throwing your bodies natural ability to maintain your hair off.  1tsp of baking soda in 1 cup of water to 'wash' your hair in. Rinse it completely. Then 1tsp of vinegar in 1 cup of water to rinse your hair. Do this everyday for 4 or 5 days, then start skipping a day in between and see how your hair fairs. Then you can put in a day or two instead of every other day and see how you hair holds up.

My routine worked like this. I would wash with the baking soda 3 times a week and only use the vinegar rinse ONCE a week. One the days I don't wash my hair, you'd never know it, and no, your hair doesn't smell like vinegar, not at all.

Here's a picture of my curly locks after the soda and vinegar rinse and NO combing...none. I don't even own a comb or brush anymore. Honestly.

I was trying to get a picture of my hair close up, after styled from the baking soda and vinegar. Of course, Evan Grace had to get in the picture, whenever the camera is out, so is she. :) I'll have to eventually pass down these tips to Evan Grace, my only child with curls.  I recently switched back to shampoo for convience, I've regretted it since. I've had to start the routine all over, but it's worth it. My hair is softer, manages better and even feels cleaner.

For now I'll leave you with the first stanza of "Dreaming of Hair", by Li Young Lee. Click the title if you want to read the complete poem.


Ivy ties the cellar door
in autumn, in summer morning glory
wraps the ribs of a mouse.
Love binds me to the one
whose hair I've found in my mouth,
whose sleeping head I kiss,
wondering is it death?
beauty? this dark
star spreading in every direction from the crown of her head.

Homemade Hot Cocoa.

My kids love hot cocoa as I'm sure the majority of kids do as well. But I really really don't like those little mix packets, convenient yes, but not so full of flavor. So the other day while out and about I picked up a bar of Ghirardelli baking chocolate. All it took was 2 cups of milk, 4 squares of the chocolate, melted in a pot with 1 tsp vanilla and a pinch of salt and we had the best hot cocoa we've had in years. I wish I could keep a bar of this chocolate in the house at all times but alas, I'm too addicted and have too little self control to not use it up as soon as it's purchased. The kids really liked the chocolate, even asking for seconds, something they never did with the mix packets!

Note to the adults out there, if you want something a little more adult just add 1 or 2oz of Whiskey and you've got a Hot Chocolate Toddy!

Changes, not goals.

It's January. The worst month of the year. Doesn't matter to me that my birthday is in January, or that my mom's birthday is in January. It's been the worst month in all the years since I was in my teens. I don't look forward to January. I want to rip the entire month of January out of every calendar and just go straight to February. But then I stop and think, wouldn't that just make February the worst month of the year? *sigh*

I hate setting goals for myself. I feel like it's the first step in NOT meeting that goal. Write it down for all to see and then go ahead and disappoint them. So maybe that's why I'm going to call them changes and not goals.

With this January sure to be just as yucky as any other January I decided to try and change it up a little for myself. The church I was involved in back in Alabama, always did some form of fasting in January for 21 days. When I worked at the church it was pretty much mandatory you went along with a fast of some kind. I didn't mind it. The entire family and I gave up TV, video games, all things entertainment for those 21 days. It was refreshing, and I found myself wishing I had the willpower to keep it up. Of course I don't have that kind of will power. But it is January again and jan 3rd was the first day of any fast you were wanting to do. I'm starting, Monday, the 4th. I'm going to do a combination of the Wesleyan Fast and a Daniel Fast. No food from sun up to sun down and then only fruits and veggies after sun down, and very few at that until the 21st.  Since we're in Virginia I don't see that I can get everyone on board for an entire family fast but I'm still thinking of something the kids could fast until the 21st. I'm looking foward to it, I feel stronger now than I have in years and I'm expecting more strength at the end of the fast. Though, unlike the other years I've been involved with fasting, I'm not doing this one for any spirtual reasons. They'll be no pray time or bible reading during the times I would have normally ate for this fast.  No extra seeking of anyone's wisdom for my life. Nope, not any of that.


 I'm going to blog more, more than just pictures and recipes and things I've created. Actual blogging, writing down what's going on in my head, what tid bit I've picked up along the way. What line I read from a book and thought 'wouldn't that make a great opening liner for a scene in a book where the girl...." you get the point. Oh I'm sure to still posts projects, kid pictures and recipe updates. But I want to add more here than just the fluff stuff.

 I've decided to take on a little project all about me. There are 52 weeks in a year right? Each week I'm going to snap a picture of myself in some form or fashion and post it here, along with a fact, tid bit, or otherwise piece of sillyness about me and my life.  I find I spend so much of my time focusing on all those around me that I often overlook the odd and fun things about me that make me uniquely me. I'm going to call it Project 52.


I have more changes in me, more to post about, but these are the only ones I've come to terms with and I'm determind to complete.

Christmas 'whooo' Loot

I mentioned awhile back how I was in love with owls. Love love them. I look for owls to add to my collection all the time, though I rarely buy any. I've made some, I blogged about those and I have a ceramic owl that I adore in my bedroom. I made one little mention of my love for owls to my mom and she put it to good use this Christmas. My sister as well.

Cute owl fabric. I totally see a tote and maybe an apron already out of some of this fabric.

An owl wallet from my sister. How cute. I love it and its perfect for a debit card, license and cash!!

A cute owl picture frame. The kids just had their pictures taken so now all I have

to do is pick a favorite and slip it in.

A wonderful jersey barn owl scarf too! Not only do I love owls, but I'm getting slightly addicted to all kinds of scarves. This has to be the perfect combo, plus my sister told me later on that she got if off Etsy so it's even better that it's handmade!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Not my photo but I love this picture.

Ode to Daisy.

The kids and I played in the snow again today. This time we kept Daisy, our 2 year old dog, with us the entire time. I think she had more fun in the snow than the kids did.

She started out on the hunt, her nose working back and forth like mad.

Then she decided to lick as much snow as possible while on the move. Honestly her tongue was flapping as quickly as her feet were moving.

She moved on to running then, well it was this weird kinda hop, bounce, run thing. The snow was up pretty high on her so she had to push her weight up and out of the snow in order to get any speed up. I think so enjoyed the challenge though.

Tired of runnin she decided to pounce Isaac everytime he laid down to make a snow angel or take a nap as he liked to pretend to do. As soon as she pounced and Isaac squealed she was off of him and on to more snow play.

Then it was back to more running, this time with Isaac, all recovered from him many dog attacks.

She had fun playing, scratching and then eating the snow balls the two little kids decided to pelt her with. She's a good dog, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe she was just thirsty after all the snow licking and eating.

She took time, off and on, while outside to watch the neighboor's dog across the field play in the snow and bark at her. It was only a few seconds at a time, but she did stop to spy on her friend from time to time.

Back to more running. I don't think I've ever seen my round dog run so much. Back in the summer we'd take her outside so she could fetch tennis balls and even then she'd get bored or to tired to run anymore. Not today, I really think she liked being in the snow.

I love this picture, note how her eyes are cut to one side and only one ear has been bounced up high as she bounce-lopes-runs towards me... so very funny.