Tuesday, May 6, 2008


I slept hard last night, but not deep. I kept dreaming of my grandmother that passed away last October. She and my mom came to my church. (but we had stadium seating). My grandmother was very feeble and couldn't talk, it was almost like she was senile. I sat down, closer to the stage of the church and my mom and grandma were maybe 10 or so rows up from me. They waved as they sat down, my grandmother smiled. Then flash, church was over and we're all on our way out. Grandma smiles at me as mom physically helps her out of the church and that's it. It was sad and somewhat depressing and has followed me around today. I'm not sure what to make of it. Use to be I would dream of Mackenzie's biological father when I was stressed out and upset. We would never talk but he was always in the background hanging over me.

I'm sure my subconscious mind was trying to soothe it's self from yesterday's events. Getting fired/downsized from a job you liked to do but didn't like the people you did it for is still upsetting.

Today has been very freeing though. I'm somewhat dreading that I have to work one more day. But I'll get through it and it'll be just fine.

On a side note, Isaac's has another doc. appointment Thursday at 2:45 and Evan Grace goes to the doc the following week for vaccinations. She was so sick turning her well baby check-ups that we're way off schedule. Poor things, are going to be mad at me when it's all over.

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