Wednesday, July 2, 2008

I'm mad

I'm not sure why it still gets to me. But I my anger at somethings that have taken place the past few months is only seeming to grow. So I thought I'd blog it and hope to vent and see if that helps. Everyone pray AC doesn't see this and narc again because she can't handle it. Let's jump in shall we?

They are stuck up, none-love showing people. They take advantage of those around them and think they can force people into doing things their way without asking them.

This isn't going in the right direction. I'm going to start over.

I was part of their click, and then when I had my head examined and eyes opened, realized I no longer wanted to be a part of their judgemental, dictator, controlling things just to control group I got out. In love I got out. I didn't just up and quit. I didn't shot off at the mouth and storm out like I SOOOOO wanted to. I smiled and told them, they had to do what was best for them, but I needed my hours cut back and when they didn't like it and started looking for someone else...(who's a joke by the way) I silently breathed a sigh of relief. You should have seen the look on his face though, when he thought he dropped the bomb and I calmly looked at him and said, 'It is what is isn't and if it works it works and if not that's fine too!'
You mean Jessica doesn't want to be a part of the best ministry team on earth? I could see clearly stamped into his forehead as some kind of flashing neon skin light. No, she doesn't, because guess's NOT the most important ministry out there, not even close. How many people have they turned away by not showing them love and compassion? I know the count, I was there for almost two years. I SAW the count. That's an important ministry? Surly you jest!!!

But now I'm treated as an outsider. And on some level I'm okay with that, but when my kids are pulled in to it I'm not. So very very not! Am I just blowing up, am I letting this eat at me when I should already be over it?

They've really hurt me, never have I been treated like this with anyone on ANY CHURCH STAFF! and I'm just amazed that a church this big can have people on their payroll that are this ugly to other church members. They are very creative and that's wonderful but that's where it ends completely!!!!!

Ugh, I just don't know what to do anymore. Coming in with a smile and a hi isn't cutting it.

No comments: