Thursday, September 25, 2008

It's gettin', It's gettin'

It's gettin', it's gettin' it's gettin' kinda hectic. Oh how I hate that song, but OHHHHH how it's my life right now.

What to say next, what to do next, when to plan that and start that and did I finish that because I have to take it over to so and so's. Ugh. I feel like the chicken when her head cut off.

School is fine for Kenzie and Isaac, they are both doing well, if at not driving me nuts with how quick they are picking things up. Church is great, now that we're at another Campus (thank God for that I was on the edge of going to Pastor over the horrendous things and I just wasn't comfortable with that, maybe when all the hurt the others throw at me dies down, then I will)

Matt's job is rocking. Raise and promotion already. We're getting ready to head out to VA tomorrow for a family reunion kind of thing on Sat. Looking forward to that, but not looking forward to the drive there and back.

Things are going well, just busy and I can't seem to keep my head above water, let alone swim to shore.

I Is it because I can never have aything other than my kids (somewhat) to myself anymore? Maybe because I can never turn around without crap jumping up in front of my face and saying, 'remember me....remember how I screwed you over and made you out to be a horrible person in front of others, remember how I told lies about you? and you just sat there and took it? Good times right? ' UGH!!!!!! I so just want to blow my top and let all this venom spew out and hit them square in the face. I want them to have a black mark on their face that says 'see, I'm really no better than anyone else, I'm just sneakier and more manipulative!"

I know that's wrong of me, that's why I backed out of all of it and moved myself out of the spanking that's coming to those I was 'connected to'. Not going to be a happy day for those but at least I'm protected and out of the way. Thank you God for showing me how to get out gracefully to avoid that situation. For those that are still in it, I pray God's protection even more so. Trial by association is sometimes harder and more confusing than trial by your own sin.

On a good note, Matt's cleared me (yes I know) to get my nose pierced again. YEAH!!! Hopefully he'll like it better this time around. We've been looking at getting matching tattoos. We're thinking I'd have one part of the tattoo and he'd have the other connecting half. We're kicking around ideas and maybe when I get back from VA we can settle on something and go and get it done. It's been too long since I've been inked and jonesing is no longer the right word for how badly I want another one!!!!

I'm off to pack, there's too much to be done and I really shouldn't even be going to VA, but it'll be a good trip and when I get back....maybe I'll have reached shore.

1 comment:

~*Lisa*~ said...

I am sorry Jess I can take it off? I just wanted to know when you posted something! I sorry again I miss your beautiful face! Love,